[The Grandson, interrupting the story in a kissing-scene]
The Grandson: Hold it, hold it! What is this? Are you trying to trick me? Where's the sports? Is this a
kissing-book???
Vizzini: A word, my lady. We are but poor, lost circus performers. Is
there a village nearby?
Buttercup: There is nothing nearby... Not for miles.
Vizzini: Then there will be no one to hear you scream!
Inigo Montoya: That Vizzini, he can *fuss*.
Fezzik: Fuss, fuss... I think he like to scream at *us*.
Inigo Montoya: Probably he means no *harm*.
Fezzik: He's really very short on *charm*.
Inigo Montoya: You have a great gift for rhyme.
Fezzik: Yes, yes, some of the time.
Vizzini: Enough of that!
Inigo Montoya: Fezzik, are there rocks ahead?
Fezzik: If there are, we all be dead!
Vizzini: No more rhymes now, I mean it!
Fezzik: Anybody want a peanut?
Vizzini: DYEEAAHHHHHH!!
[Vizzini has just cut the rope The Dread Pirate Roberts is climbing up]
Vizzini: HE DIDN'T FALL? INCONCEIVABLE!
Inigo Montoya: You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you
think it means.
Inigo Montoya: I donna suppose you coulda speed things up??
Westley: If you're in such a hurry, you could lower a rope or a tree
branch or find something useful to do.
Inigo Montoya: I could do that. I have some rope up here, but I do not think you would accept my help,
since I am only only waiting around to kill you.
Westley: That does put a damper on our relationship.
Inigo Montoya: I do not mean to pry, but you don't by any chance happen
to have six fingers on your right hand?
Westley: Do you always begin conversations this way?
Inigo Montoya: You seem a decent fellow, I hate to kill you.
Westley: You seem a decent fellow, I hate to die.
Westley: You are amazing.
Inigo Montoya: Well I ought to be, after twenty years.
Inigo Montoya: You are wonderful.
Westley: I've worked hard to become so.
Inigo Montoya: Who are you?
Westley: Noone of consequence.
Inigo Montoya: I must know...
Westley: Get used to disappointment.
Inigo Montoya: 'kay.
Vizzini: Now, a clever man would put the poison into his own goblet, because he would know that only a great fool would reach for what he was given. I am not a great fool, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you. But you must have known I was not a great fool, you would have counted on it, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me...
Vizzini: You only think I guessed wrong -- that's what's so funny! I switched glasses when your back
was turned! Ha-ha, you fool! You fell victim to one of the classic blunders, the most famous of which is
"Never get involved in a land war in Asia", but only slightly less famous is this: "Never go in against a
Sicilian, when *death* is on the line!". Hahahahahah!
[Vizzini falls over dead]
Buttercup: You mock my pain!
Westley: Life is pain! Anyone who says different is trying to sell you
something.
Buttercup: We'll never survive!
Westley: Nonsense! you're only saying that because noone ever has...
Prince Humperdinck: Surrender!
Westley: You mean you wish to surrender to me? Very well, I accept...
Count Rugen: Get some rest. If you haven't got your health, you haven't got anything.
Inigo Montoya: Are you the Miracle Max who worked for the king all those
years?
Miracle Max: The King's stinking son fired me, and thank you so much for bringing up such a painful
subject. While you're at it, why don't you give me a nice paper cut and pour lemon juice on it? We're
closed!
Miracle Max: Get back, witch!
Valerie: I'm not a witch, I'm your wife! And after what you just said, I'm not even sure I want to be that
any more!
Westley: Give us the gate key.
Yellin: I have no gate key.
Inigo Montoya: Fezzik, tear his arms off.
Yellin: Oh, you mean *this* gate key.
Inigo Montoya: Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.
[Repeated line, including the last]
The Grandfather: As you wish.
webbed by Richard Hay.