(Enter Herald trumpets blaring the Star Trek Theme)



[after destroying Klingon Bird of Prey]
Data: "YEEEEEEES!" [with accompanied fist motion]


[Geordi & Data are searching the inside of a facility]
Geordi: "There appears to be a door here. I can see the outline with my visor. I can't see any control panel. It must be magnetically sealed."

Data: "Perhaps I can reverse the polarity by extenting my axial servo?"
[Data opens up module in his arm, and waves it in front of the door]
Data: "Open Sesame!"
[Door opens]
Data: "You might say I have a "magnetic" personality.

Too Literal

[scene within the holodeck- Officers of the Enterprise are gathered on a sailing ship called "Enterprise" to celebrate the promotion of Lt. Worf]
[Commander Riker reads from the scroll accusing Worf of conduct that is constantly above and beyond the call of duty, for which he deserves promotion]
Picard: "May God have Mercy on your soul."

Riker: "Extend the plank!"

Riker: "Lower the badge of office!"

[Worf extends himself out to try and catch the descending plumed officers hat while continuing to balance himself on the plank]

Riker: (whispers to Picard) "He won't make it, no one ever has."

[Worf leaps up, grabs the trophy hat, and lands unsteadily for a moment, but keeps his balance]

Riker: "Computer! Remove Plank!"

[the plank disappears, and Worf is sent plummeting into the freezing water]
[The assembled crew bursts out laughing]

Picard: "I think it's "retract" plank, not "remove" plank, Number One."

Riker: "Quite right, Captain."

[Data appears quizically puzzled, and turns to Dr. Crusher]

Data: "Doctor, I fail to see the humor in this situation. What is funny about Lt. Commander Worf falling into freezing water?"

Doctor Crusher: "Data, you've got to learn to get into the spirit of things. Live in the moment. Be spontaneous. Got it?"

Data: "Got it."

[Data pushes Dr. Crusher over the side of the Enterprise, sending her to join Worf floundering in the water]

webbed by Richard Hay.
I am reachable at